It clicks in deaf ears.
Hearing eyes stare at pixels
That shimmer and shine.
Rushing, rushing, rushing.
Always zipping on.
Click, click, click.
Slam. Vroom. Sssss.
Mindless chatter to pass the time.
Stars pass overhead, watching.
Waiting.
Vroom. Sssss. Slam.
Whispering softly in the darkness.
Kali Anastasi.
Shhh, no louder than the beating
Of a dove's heart.
Twilight covers sacred Byzantine icons
All holding holy breath
Watching, waiting, wondering.
Kali Anastasi.
Again, whispered in the night.
Hearts rise, souls uplifted.
A single flame appearing in
Utter darkness.
Light fills the holy house.
Filling hearts, filling minds, souls.
Kali Anastasi.
It trembles on the lips of the faithful.
Kali Anastasi.
Two words metamorphosis to a new phrase.
Christos Anesti. Alithos Anesti.
Christ is risen.
Truly he is risen.
Many times repeated in a single night.
Many lips speaking as one.
Serenity is forever.
Click, click, click.
Ssss. Slam. Vroom.
Mindless chatter to pass the time.
Hope flickering before hearing eyes.
I didn't want to leave.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Sun Shone Down Happy
What a nightmare of the past couple of weeks. Breaking up with someone you love has to be the hardest thing in the world, especially when you know that you have to do it so that you can both grow. So yes, broke up with someone I loved and still love dearly, who I think I will love for a long time.
After that, broke out into a fever of 100.6 degrees and it kept fluctuating between that and normal body temperature for a couple of days. Then, I thought I was safe. Things were going okay, happiness was going on once more and then, suddenly, my stress levels rise a bit and I have a sore throat. Well, that isnt too bad, right? Drank fluids, took vitamins, drank more fluids...wasnt really eating due to depression spells... Sore throat seemed to be getting worse, so, upon waking up last Wednesday I opened my mouth and what do I find nesting on the back of my tonsils?
WHITE SPOTS.
FUCKING SWEET.
And it wasnt just white spots, my friends. It was left hand side spotty, right hand side...looked like white picket fence with no missed spots. Right hand side was COVERED in white.
A-FUCKING-MAZING.
For those of you playing the home game, I am being facetious.
Lo and behold I contracted Strep Throat for the first time in my life. I suddenly feel like an asshole when I have to be excused from class, but got a little humor out of watching people take a GINORMOUS step back when I said "Well, I have white spots on the back of my throat, might be Strep."
A quick drive to the hospital and three antibiotics later, I am bedridden for the rest of the weekend, unable to really do anything but sleep and not talk due to severe throat pain. It was like I was hibernating for winter, I hardly left my room.
GO ME!!
Again...facetious...
After a few days of sleeping and repeating medical treatments, my wonderful friend Jamie takes a look at the back of my throat with a flashlight and says, "Well...it's not a picket fence anymore. But you have barnacles now." That's good, right? Sure Paulina... Barnacles? What am I? A fucking ship?
However, there is a happy ending. Barnacles have now faded to small spots and only a slight minor pain and I go to face my doom with teachers and hope they understand that sometimes real life gets in the way, no matter how hard you try to keep the psychotic life at bay with a locked door and a screwdriver.
After that, broke out into a fever of 100.6 degrees and it kept fluctuating between that and normal body temperature for a couple of days. Then, I thought I was safe. Things were going okay, happiness was going on once more and then, suddenly, my stress levels rise a bit and I have a sore throat. Well, that isnt too bad, right? Drank fluids, took vitamins, drank more fluids...wasnt really eating due to depression spells... Sore throat seemed to be getting worse, so, upon waking up last Wednesday I opened my mouth and what do I find nesting on the back of my tonsils?
WHITE SPOTS.
FUCKING SWEET.
And it wasnt just white spots, my friends. It was left hand side spotty, right hand side...looked like white picket fence with no missed spots. Right hand side was COVERED in white.
A-FUCKING-MAZING.
For those of you playing the home game, I am being facetious.
Lo and behold I contracted Strep Throat for the first time in my life. I suddenly feel like an asshole when I have to be excused from class, but got a little humor out of watching people take a GINORMOUS step back when I said "Well, I have white spots on the back of my throat, might be Strep."
A quick drive to the hospital and three antibiotics later, I am bedridden for the rest of the weekend, unable to really do anything but sleep and not talk due to severe throat pain. It was like I was hibernating for winter, I hardly left my room.
GO ME!!
Again...facetious...
After a few days of sleeping and repeating medical treatments, my wonderful friend Jamie takes a look at the back of my throat with a flashlight and says, "Well...it's not a picket fence anymore. But you have barnacles now." That's good, right? Sure Paulina... Barnacles? What am I? A fucking ship?
However, there is a happy ending. Barnacles have now faded to small spots and only a slight minor pain and I go to face my doom with teachers and hope they understand that sometimes real life gets in the way, no matter how hard you try to keep the psychotic life at bay with a locked door and a screwdriver.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
I am Leaving
Monday: April 7th, 2008
I had no idea the human heart could break like this. I watched mine do that very thing today. It shattered into tiny little pieces, and, I am still picking them up. Among the shards, I am finding pieces of his. They look the same, almost; his are a little redder than mine. I wanted so badly to keep it together, to stay with him, but, in order for him to become more than what he is, I had to leave him. Being a pillar for someone, it is hard. It hurts. In the end, you crumble.
God, it hurts so fucking much.
I did the hardest thing that anyone could do in his or her lives.
I don’t know if I can survive it…
In the end, I know things will get better. The sun will shine again. Everything will be warm once more, but, for now, the clouds and pale winter fields will suite me just fine.
I had no idea the human heart could break like this. I watched mine do that very thing today. It shattered into tiny little pieces, and, I am still picking them up. Among the shards, I am finding pieces of his. They look the same, almost; his are a little redder than mine. I wanted so badly to keep it together, to stay with him, but, in order for him to become more than what he is, I had to leave him. Being a pillar for someone, it is hard. It hurts. In the end, you crumble.
God, it hurts so fucking much.
I did the hardest thing that anyone could do in his or her lives.
I don’t know if I can survive it…
In the end, I know things will get better. The sun will shine again. Everything will be warm once more, but, for now, the clouds and pale winter fields will suite me just fine.
Monday, April 7, 2008
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