Something Like It

At twenty-two, you think you know everything about life. Especially love. All the twists and turns. All the circular paths that lead you right back where you started. That knowledge is right there, but, it's not true. You don't know a thing about the heart. When you lay down at night, next to the person you profess to love, questions enter the mind.

Is this right?

What if there is something better?

What happens next?

When it is over, is it really over?

A shiver runs through you and you turn over, your lover cuddling in behind you. Maybe cheating will make it easier? That way, you won't have to feed them the "It's not you it's me" line. Or you could really let them know, it IS really you. Somewhere along the way, you lost that interest. The roaring, living flame turned into smoldering coals, embers glowing to a dull dim.

Teeth bite lower lip. Even the sex isn't what it used to be. Just a repetitive action that you find yourself thinking about other things just to make the time pass a little quicker.

You turn again, restless mind reeling. You're choking back tears, knowing that you will be listening to the saddest songs on your play-list come morning. The tears stream down the side of your face, dying quietly into the pillow. The same pillow that cradled both your faces after a day of play; a day of exploring the world and each other.

You're on your back now, staring at the ceiling, deep breaths entering your chest cavity. These damn tears just won't stop. Finally, you turn one last time, facing your lover. They look so beautiful, sleeping soundly as you find yourself in a personal turmoil, knowing that giving them up would be the worst thing in the world. For the both of you.

At twenty-two, you think you know everything about life.

Especially love.

Stop kidding yourself.

In the end, all that knowledge you think you have about love and life, hardly means anything. The love dies. It all becomes a memory. Those days of joy, even hardship, drift and fade, leaving behind silken webs that flutter weakly in your mind. Until, one day, when you least expect it, you find yourself crying and you wonder why. The thing is though, you know the reason, and you regret. Your heart pains you for a time, then…nothing. The memory is gone once more lost within your mind.